July: Car registration expired.
CA: Ha, ha. We need to make sure we get enough money, so we’re not sending out your registration till after it’s expired, so we can eventually extend the laws to keep it slightly more expensive. Don’t worry, cops won’t ticket you till September 1. Oh, and you need to go smog your 9 year old car. Cause we don’t want any old cars on the road.
Late July, Smog Test Station: You’re emissions in a single area are twice the legal limit. But if we rev the engine even higher, emissions go down. You got a low-speed problem.
Mechanic, August (couldn’t afford earlier): $100 inspection later: EGR control solenoid is broke. Pay $120 and a day off work to get a replacement and our labor to fix it.
Mechanic, next week: Well, it’s 50/50 on passing. We think it’s a computer issue cause the EGR isn’t firing for as long as it should. Take it to a dealer.
Dealer, September (couldn’t afford earlier, again): Smog issues? $160. Oh, your car has two recalls. That’s another $60 we’ll tack on. One of which is the computer.
Enterprise Rent-A-Car, same day: $55 per day to rent a car. Oh, and it’s insured, just initial here to acknowledge that.
Dealer, same day: You’re wheels are too big. Replace all 4 17 inch rims+tires (due to prior owner changing them) to stock 15 inch tires, then bring it back to us so we can adjust the computer, and it should pass then. Oh, you still have to pay us 220, even though we didn’t actually do ANYTHING at all but tell you to change your tires. Ha. Ha.
Enterprise Rent-A-Car, same day: $90 please, to return this care you rented for a total of 3.5 hours. Why so much you ask? $55? That’s before you agreed to use our insurance, that’s another $30. What do you mean the guy never told you? He only said sign here, he NEVER SAID there was an additional cost for the insurance? You thought it was just an acknowledgement? That’s shady, and we believe you. $55 please. Thank you.
Much internet searching later:
Next week, late September, a few days before CA DMV wouldn’t accept even the $180 late fees by mail (NOW I know you can pay the $105 fee upfront if the smog is gonna be late without penalty.) – Visit O’Reilly Auto Parts and pick up SEAFOAM, dump an entire can in gas tank $9. Drive across the street and get an oil change $35 (didn’t have the coupon), and they notice the air filter is old, so I opt to replace it with one they have for $25.
Next day, still September, Smog Test Station: Your car barely passed smog. Just barely. We’ll send the smog cert to the DMV electronically.
*Mail out DMV renewal with late fee payment a few days before 09/30, which would have been too late to send out by.*
First week in October, Phone the DMV: Yes, we got your renewal, it’ll be going out to you in two days.
One day later, today: Tags arrive in the mail!
Me: Ha ha, I get the last laugh, my car is legal to drive!
CA DMV: Keep deluding yourself. Mhmm, late fees, extra money towards various businesses, and the closest experience to a panic attack / nervous breakdown you’ve ever had. Har dee har har.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Lessons: Enterprise Rent-A-Car and the local mechanic who didn’t charge me for the third thing they had to do (yeah, there was a follow-up test that was normally another $100) get props. Dealers suck. CA doesn’t want you driving old cars. Living alone is really, really difficult when you start off heavily in debt.
/quits job (2 week notice)
/gives notice to apartments (30 days)
/disconnects internet effective end of October
/sets reminder to remove account from utilities when out of the apartment
/CLEANS LIKE HE’S NEVER CLEANED BEFORE
/makes plans to drive 2800 miles in a month to live with parents again, who themselves move from place to place constantly due to having no permanent address
*Starts writing again.*
Hi Again.
– James.
